the work.......

My marathon is less than a month away. According to Hal I have one more absurdly long run (20 miles)before the race. I am at the point where I know I'm as ready as I am going to be. I've given this marathon training as much as I could considering the fact that I have a life and responsibilities outside of training.

I'm excited. I keep picturing the finish. I keep picturing the miles in between- 12, 15, 21, 23... and I try and imagine what will be going through my mind that might help me maintain the peace and determination that will carry me to the finish. Although I'm a bit of a realist and I seldom float on a "isn't life wonderful" cloud, I have learned how to seek out and find the things in life that truly are wonderful. To savor those things and examine them closely. To memorize the extraordinary detail so when you need something to bring joy to your heart, you can pick up this memory and let it flow through you. This is what I find myself doing now. When I experience or witness something, I'll try and store it in my mind so that I can ponder it while I'm running.

I keep looking for "the wall". I would like to feel what that feels like during training so that I am better prepared for it during the marathon. During an 18 mile run I did 2 weeks ago, after about mile 14 I kept imagining the consequences of ending the run early. I imagined making a phone call- asking to be picked up and having to explain myself. "I just don't feel like running anymore... no, no... I'm not in severe pain. I'm not dehydrated... No, I'm not ailing in any significant way. I'm just... uhh...kinda achy and bored...so can you come pick me up?" Is that the wall? It didn't stop me. Is the wall when you submit to walking for a couple of minutes? I don't think so... I have planned for walk breaks and do welcome them. Maybe during the 20 mile training run I'll hit my wall and enjoy quoting this paragraph and laughing at myself. I secretly hope that I do not have a wall.

I keep looking at other marathoners finish times and wondering if my goal time is realistic. This isn't the only marathon I will run, so I'm not too intent on my desired time. Just like I told my youngest son yesterday "In order to get good at something, you have to be willing to suck at it for awhile." I happened to say this while we were watching my oldest son practice for his track meet. His discus throws were inconsistent and he was taking a lot of risks with his technique. My youngest boy asked me why he was changing his technique, and I was able to explain how multiple attempts and failures are the best path to success. So if this marathon sucks, I'm ok with it. It's the first of many.