At last... the last long run...

I will readily admit that I am not feeling the same level of drive and desire to do the Philadelphia Marathon that I felt for Lake Placid. It's not even close. In fact, I am slightly resentful of the idea of running Philadelphia. However, a commitment is a commitment, and I'll run, give it my all and cross that finish line dammit. Training has been *ok* at best, but the excitement is completely gone. Carving out the time for long runs is a burden. Running after work annoys me. And I cannot stand running in the cold.

I ditched my twenty mile run last week because of the weather. I considered doing it in the middle of the week after work, but quickly realized that was stupid. So I set out today. I dressed for the run but forgot about the wind chill factor. I run along the ocean so there aren't many buildings or trees to block the wind with. Running south was lovely. Turning around and heading north was torture. I was freezing the whole time. I felt like I was running without clothes on- the wind permeated my long sleeve tech shirt and shorts. I was prepared with fuel this time- I had GU gels and gatorade. I had no intention of wearing my Garmin- I didn't want to obsess on pace and time for this run. I just wanted to get the miles in, no matter what speed as long as I was running. The last time I wore the Garmin, I'm pretty sure I looked at it every 4 minutes. It made the run seem a billion times longer. I think I did during my Lake Placid training- I wore the Garmin for the 18 mile run and decided that wearing it for 20 miles would doom me.

I re-routed so that I could have a nice 10 mile loop to do twice. I took this run as my usual "journey" rather than "race" mentality and before I knew it I was nearly through the first loop. I did stop to stretch once, and realized that maybe in cold weather I should be stretching more regularly. I actually had noticeable tightness in my quads. I stopped to use the bathroom near the Beach Bar in Asbury Park and decided to look at my phone to try and estimate my pace.

I saw the time. And my heart sunk. And after a quick burst of denial and a few attempts at some mental calculations I realized that something was very very wrong.

Based on the time, I was going very very slow. About 2.5 min/mile slower than my most comfortable pace. I tried to assess my body and see if anything was hurting or out of order. I searched for unusual pain. I felt alert and physically energetic enough to finish the run, but what the heck? Even at my first race ever I didn't pace this slow. Even at my second marathon where I ended in an ambulance I didn't pace this slow. I had no idea what to do. Even though I could keep going, the thought of running 10 more miles and taking this long in the freezing cold seemed unfathomable. Not to mention, the realization of the fact that I was running this slow was so disturbing. After pondering all the possible reasons and coming up with NOTHING that made any sense, I decided that I probably shouldn't run the full 20. If I slowed down this much, something HAD TO be wrong. I just wasn't connecting with it yet.

I got home and felt defeated over the fact that I just ran my slowest ten miles EVER. I was waiting for some sort of intense pain to set in now that I was in a warm house. When I'm cold, I really don't feel much of anything else unless it's terribly severe. No pain. No stiffness. I went upstairs and turned my computer on. I opened up gmaps and plotted the distance.

And plotted it again and again.

13.1 miles.

Not 10.

I had checked the time right around mile 12, not mile 9. Big difference. It turns out that I had added two miles to the run by turning around too far out. I guess I should have gone out and ran the other 7, but I didn't. That's enough. As many have implored, running 20 this week will not make or break me. I already know I can cover the marathon distance. Of course I want a PR, but I'm not obsessed with getting one during the unpleasantly cold 26.2 mile trudge that takes place 15 days from now. I'll give it my best and take whatever my best gives me. I'm surprised by my error in calculating the miles. I did question the distance a couple of times in my mind while I was out there, but decided that I should trust what I saw on the map.

I wonder what other runners would have done in my position.

If you thought you were seriously dragging ass, would you keep dragging through a training run?