NOT a Giveaway.

I just had to get on here and NOT post a giveaway. I've been busy and a bit frantic (mostly in a good way, but I feel like I'm always on the verge of needing a very strong cocktail.) and it seems that all I do is organize and prepare giveaway post these days.

I know I know... It's a good thing. It means big companies believe in For The Love Of The Run enough to send me stuff to share with y'all. And it means we can all get free stuff just because we're awesome.

But really, I thought I'd just rant on here for a few minutes about everything and nothing in particular. With a slant toward running, of course.

This weekend, I am running the Allstate Life Insurance New York 13.1 Marathon. Yes it bugs me that it's called "13.1 Marathon" and I wonder what made them decide that was a good idea. This race is not just a race to me. It's a pilgrimage. It starts in a park where I used to play when I was little. Some of my earliest memories are of that park and the subway we took to get there. I lived the first decade of my life near that park and like a misspelled word, that decade and the life lived within it was erased. I was whisked to New Jersey and although I do not remember ever being told not to speak about life in Queens, NY, it was a subject that was not raised for years. As a child, I did not mourn the loss of the only home I knew. I did not ask my mom if we could go back. I did not wonder what happened to all the things we left behind. I didn't think about our cat. I didn't realize that everything- all my baby photos, my collections of random sacred things, my school pictures, the posters and drawings that hung in my bedroom, my stuffed animals- EVERYTHING about my first ten years of life would become a faint and coveted memory.

And even though it's a mere one hour drive away, I've only been back in Queens twice as an adult. Once with my sister (as a deliberate pilgrimage- we even went to our old walk up apartment building and managed to get someone to buzz us in) and once to visit a friend.

My children know a good bit about my upbringing. I don't think I ever emphasized to them how my youth was erased as it was- mainly because that's just too much to pour into their happy little laps right now. But they are coming with me. Something about them walking and playing where I once walked and played as a child is soothing to me. I need photos of them by the Unisphere in Flushing Meadows. I need to see them on the 7 train. I'm not sure why. I just do.

... Ahhh... I suppose I should point out that the NJ Marathon is less than two months away. I have a fifteen mile run under my belt. (weekend before last) This half marathon should be a nice reality check as far as whether or not I have returned to (or improved upon) my half marathon pace. I expect to give all I can to a new PR. I think my heart will pour out onto that race course. How could it not?